Online Debates

I am *cringing* as I log on and see my last post date.  I'm not going to say it's a new year and I have a resolution to write more and all that jazz.  I would like to write more.  A lot has changed since my last post but that's another post for a different day.

I'm feeling quite upset by an online "discussion" I participated in tonight.  It ticked all my social anxiety boxes in one fell swoop.  What does that look like? Well, initially it's my heart racing, sometimes sweaty palms.  There may or may not be perseveration on whatever it was that upset me.  There's all of that tonight plus an upset stomach to boot.

I recently bought an electric pressure cooker.  Feeling very intimidated by it, I joined a few Facebook groups to learn more.  Cooking groups- quite innocuous and safe, right? One would think so.

In the bigger of the two groups, a woman posted a photo collage of her 16 year old autistic child using the pressure cooker to cook himself a meal.  In her post, she listed intimate details of his past instantly turning this into an inspiration porn story that really bothered me.  I decided to let it go.  Pick my battles if you will.  Not much later, the same post had been shared into the smaller group.  I couldn't overlook it twice in one night so I said something.  I responded that I was uncomfortable with this woman posting intimate details of her son's life on a public Facebook group.  I questioned whether or not she had his permission to post such details.  As I suspected, I was quickly shot down by other comments basically telling me that she is his mother/legal guardian and she can post whatever she wants about him.  This person is sixteen years old.  He's not a child any longer and in two years will legally be able to vote.  I continued to state my opinion about being bothered that these intimate details were being posted on a public Facebook group.  I was polite and respectful in my responses.  I quickly realized I wasn't making any headway and my anxiety was getting higher and higher.  In my last response, I said we would agree to disagree and wished everyone a good night.  One of the group's admins responded that since his mother posted it she does have legal authority and to get off my high horse.

Even now people are continuing to comment on the post, all inspiration porn style saying how great it is.  One woman even said how inspiring it is to read since she has a young autistic child herself.

I was upset because these private details she posted were posted to support her stance of how much he had "overcome".  An autistic will always be autistic.  It is how we are born and it is as much a part of us as the color of our eyes.   We can be beaten down by ABA, we can teach ourselves societal norms and work hard to appear less autistic- because this is what society demands of us.  But at the end of the day, we will always be autistic.

I feel physically sick over this even now.  People in these posts, like this sixteen year old, are vulnerable and need someone to stand up for them.  I am feeling guilty that I can't fight this fight.  I feel sad and angry that this man- because let's face it, at sixteen, he is a man- is being exploited so his mother can feel better about herself.  In what other situation is it socially acceptable to post intimate details of a family member besides the disabled, the elderly or children? Essentially, society's most vulnerable members? How would you feel if your husband/wife/partner posted intimate details of your life together on a public Facebook group? Would you be outraged? Devastated? Disgusted? Shamed? Would you feel betrayed? Children are people too and just because we brought them into this world, we as parents don't have free reign to share all their personal information all over the web.
Where do we as a society draw the line?